


Love is Blind

by Aleksiina_26



Category: Alice Nine, Jrock
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 15:31:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/888868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aleksiina_26/pseuds/Aleksiina_26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shou is a quiet, slightly anti-social bookshop owner whose comfortable routine gets completely turned around when a rather heavily disabled man stumbles head first into his life, literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is Blind

**Author's Note:**

> So I've never posted here but I guess I'll start because yay expansive word limit fuuuhhhh! I hope y'all like this...

***  
The morning had started like all winter mornings.

Hot shower and then warm, comfy clothes, worn jeans and wool socks, a blue plaid flannel shirt. 

Coffee and a piece of buttered toast, and then on came the boots, black cardigan, sage green jacket with the fluffy collar and the cream and grey striped scarf his mother had knitted for him last year, Mochi the cat bundled in the lapels of the jacket.

Time to open the little book shop he owned.

Shou’s mother had always said that he was born with his head already in the clouds.

Even as a child, it was plain as day that he would be the type of person that would be easily distracted by anything, living in his own little world.

The type of guy that could easily stare at birds outside the window for hours when he should be focusing on his work. Or counting ants climbing up a park bench instead of playing with the other children. Looking at the lazy sways of tree branches overhead rather than pay attention to the girl he had struggled so hard to take out on a date only to realize she held no interest whatsoever.

It gave him plenty of trouble as a child, being that one student that would always get put on the spot by an annoyed teacher for dozing off in the middle of math class, lost in thought.

Until he found out that the only thing that could keep him focused was a good book. 

He could read for hours on end, losing himself in the story, focused and intent. 

His childhood had been full of fairytales and his teenage years of horror stories and thrillers that kept him up at night full of deliciously real fear. 

His adulthood had brought in science fiction and fantasy, and non-fiction too, books about long lost cultures, animals and worlds he had never laid eyes on but felt he knew inside and out.

Which is why it made all the sense in the world when it came to picking a career of some sort to choose a path that would keep him close to his beloved books. He gathered all of his savings from working all those unglamorous teenage jobs, cafés and fast food joints and a terrible stint in home hardware retail, and opened his own little secondhand bookstore. 

A tiny little shop on a street corner, with floor to ceiling shelves full of stories and old paper, antique bindings, a creaky wooden floor and an old upright piano in a corner, comfortable armchairs by the window, making it easy for patrons to pick up a story and lose themselves for a few minutes, hours, in a warm patch of sunlight with a steaming cup of tea and a sleepy cat on the windowsill.

A cosy respite from the busy hustle and bustle of the city outside.

He made just enough money to support himself comfortably, living in the small apartment next door from his shop with Mochi, his snow white cat, without much extravagance sure, but that was the life he had picked for himself, and it couldn’t have made him happier.

He lived in his comfortable routine, day in day out, waking up early and reading the morning away on his little balcony with a coffee in the summer, watching the snow fall from his living room window in the winter, before heading to the little store, Mochi in tow as she let herself be carried next door in her owner’s arms without a fuss, and tending to his quiet possessions, organizing the shelves in his own kind of haphazard order yet knowing exactly where each book was.

It sometimes was a lonely existence, alone with his cat and books, but he rarely built up the courage to engage with other people other than his friendly patrons. It was so much easier, less scary, for a strange guy like him to lose himself in a familiar story rather than trying to connect with people he’d never had the skills to engage with. 

Books would always be there for him.

The late november wind was crisp and bitingly cold, and as he made his way next door to the shop, he noticed a rather large patch of black ice on the sidewalk right in front of the bookshop doorway, carefully sidestepping it. 

He made a mental note of laying down some salt before somebody slipped and fell before unlocking his front door, shivering from the cold.

He was welcomed indoors by a gust of warmth and old paper scent, the bell above the door tinkling softly, letting Mochi down to find her usual spot on the smallest of the two armchairs by the window, her blue eyes studying him as he laid out the carpet in front of the door and then ventured further into the shop, removing his outdoors garb, right behind the counter to first set up the register, and then a little further back to start boiling water for tea. On such a cold day, hot tea at all times was definitely a requirement.

He was on the first cup, fragrant jasmine, looking out the large window when he spotted him.

A tall man, slender yet broad-shouldered, wearing simple dark clothes, a black jacket with a fur lined hood and dark jeans, boots. 

His hair was shoulder-length ebony, glossy like a raven’s wing, framing a snow-pale face. A gorgeous face, all elegant angles, sharp cheekbones and a well defined jaw, nose like an arrow, plush mouth. 

Eyes like an autumn forest, green and gold and grey all at once, otherworldly almost, long lashed, dark brows only making them stand out more. His gaze was strangely vacant however, looking straight ahead as if not really seeing.

Thats when Shou finally noticed the cane in his hands. The long, white and red tipped cane that visually handicapped people used to get around safely.

Yet not nearly safely enough as he was headed straight for that patch of black ice Shou had completely forgotten to pour salt over. 

Within a second the tea had been put down and Shou was rushing out the front door just as the man stepped on the ice with a half-surprised, half-resigned face, as if this was a common occurrence for him, unfortunately.

“Careful!” Shou exclaimed, too late, lunging to catch the stranger as he slipped.

Only to end up slipping too and awkwardly catching the stranger across the waist as the taller man clung to his shoulder, falling flat on the ice, breath knocked out of him when the stranger half landed on him with a gasp.

“Ow…” he grunted, coughing and wheezing, the cold sidewalk oozing right into his bones and stars dancing in his field of vision.

The stranger let out a similar complaint, awkwardly trying to get off Shou while reaching around for his cane that had slipped right out of his grip. He managed to get to his knees, right hand finally finding the handle of the white cane, and leaned over Shou’s still sprawled form.

“I’m so sorry sir…” he apologized, his voice a smooth, muted barytone that belonged perfectly with his dark and handsome looks, “are you hurt?” he then asked, his face pure concern despite the unseeing eyes and Shou felt light headed all over again.

He really was ridiculously good looking, wild hair and red lips.

“I’m alright…” he managed, mouth dry, pushing himself up to a sitting position.

“I’m so very sorry I dragged you down sir…” the man apologized again, cheeks flushed pink from a mixture of cold and embarrassment, “No one ever tried to catch me before so I just grabbed on, so sorry…”

Shou’s could hardly believe his ears.

“No one ever tries to catch you or help you out?” he asked, flabbergasted.

The stranger shrugged with a wry, resigned smile.

“Not that I can tell…” he mumbled, almost inaudibly, almost ashamed that he had allowed himself to complain, then awkwardly tried to get up using his cane for leverage, “I shouldn’t be wasting your time, I’ll be on my way in a few, don’t worry about me sir…”

Shou shook his head disbelievingly and worked himself up to his feet, gently wrapping his fingers around the man’s upper arm.

“Here, let me help…”

He pulled the taller man to his feet carefully, wrapping an arm around his narrow waist to guide him off the ice patch when he noticed that the heel of the man’s left hand was scraped and oozing blood.

“Oh, your hand is bleeding…”

“Really? I only feel a little numb. I really don’t want to bother you any further...”

“We should get that cleaned…I own the little bookstore right here, come along, I have bandaids. Besides, its all my fault that you fell and hurt yourself, I forgot to salt the sidewalk in front of my shop…so come along. I have hot tea inside.” Shou offered, wondering why he was being so insistent with the man.

Maybe, just maybe, he wanted to know him better? 

The tall man nodded, the right corner of his mouth curling up in a slight smile. A smile that dug a dimple high up just underneath a sharp cheekbone and Shou’s heart leaped in his chest and he felt giddy and breathless for some reason he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“Okay, sure. I couldn’t refuse tea even if I tried.”

Shou’s mouth curled into a smile of his own, wide enough to show white teeth straightened by years of skillful orthodontic work, hurting his cheeks. 

He hadn’t smiled like that in years.

***  
Tora.

That was the stranger’s name, Tora, or so he had insisted to be called as while Shou gently herded him to the largest of the armchairs by the window. 

“Take off your jacket I’ll get the first aid kit,” Shou asked, blushing uncontrollably as he did for some obscure reason, “Its a strange name, Tora…”

He watched the man chuckle as he shrugged off the black jacket. He wore a dove grey knit sweater underneath, fashionably cut and soft looking, the colour bringing out the grey in his eyes beautifully. He was thin yet athletically built, all shoulders and chest and lean muscle, careless grace as he folded into the chair and Shou stood there with the first aid kit in his hands completely dazed for a few seconds.

He had to shake himself back into reality.

“I have a boring, common birth name,” He explained, wincing when Shou had dabbed iodine on his scraped hand, “I like this nickname better…”

The conversation had halted for a few moments while Shou took care of the slight injury, drying the wound neatly before digging around for the antibiotic ointment and bandaids, wrapping it carefully.

“Would you like some tea?” Shou asked as he finished.

“Yes please.

“Is jasmine green tea okay with you?”

Tora nodded with a smile, unseeing eyes obscured with the thick fringe of his lashes as he blinked slowly and once again Shou felt completely breathless.

What the hell was up with him? When had he turned back into a 16 year old boy?

“I’m thirty two for god’s sake…” he mouthed to himself with a roll of eyes.

He stepped back behind the counter and set out two mugs, pouring the still hot tea in one and pausing when he heard the chair creak a fraction and a muted exhalation of surprise, looking up.

Curious, stealthy Mochi had come around to sniff at the new comer and irreverently jumped onto his lap, completely surprising the raven haired.

“Oh its just Mochi, my cat! I should have told you I had one…”

“Oh…” Tora’s brows quirked in sudden understanding, and he smiled then, softly, reaching down experimentally and chuckling when Mochi’s cool nose pressed against his outstretched fingers.

He gently petted the white cat between the ears, his smile getting wider when she purred and curled up on his thighs.

“She’s very friendly, but I have to say its the first time I see her flat out lay down for a nap on someone she doesn’t know...” Shou remarked, pouring the second cup.

“I really love cats. Maybe she felt it.”

“She’s always had a good radar for kind people…”

The words were out before he could even think of them and he felt his cheeks burn when Tora just smiled in response.

“She has a very kind owner so that makes a lot of sense I suppose.”

Right that moment, Shou was endlessly thankful that Tora couldn’t actually see his face because he was dead sure he looked like a ripe strawberry.

He brought over the two mugs, feeling his flush rush all the way down to his chest when Tora reached up and he guided the raven haired’s fingers around the handle. Tora’s fingers were slender and agile, with well kept nails, and very soft.

“So what do you do for a living?” he asked, taking a seat in the other armchair.

“I work with blind children and teenagers at the local community centre, just a few blocks from here. A bit of a social worker of sorts, I teach the younger ones to read braille amongst other things, and the older ones to deal with their disability the best they can.”

“That’s amazing! Teaching kids to read is just…that’s really awesome.”

“I do what I can, I really want those kids not to lose hope you know? I know what its like to feel isolated because not being able to see is just…its easy to feel helpless. Heck, I’m an adult and I still could get killed by a patch of black ice.” He joked, self-deprecatingly.

But the words felt a little hollow and the joke made Shou’s heart drop to the pit of his stomach, thinking on the earlier words that Tora had uttered, how nobody ever helps him back up when he’s down.

“Thank you, by the way.” Tora cut through the hush that had settled over them both with his low, beautiful voice, “That was really kind of you to come to my rescue.”

“It was my pleasure. Well my back is a little sore, but it was worth it, I made a friend didn’t I?”

Tora grinned and nodded, putting out his hand, palm outstretched. Shou grabbed the offered hand with a smile, shaking it.

“I guess you did. And so did I.” Tora replied.

Much later, after an afternoon of talking of nothing and everything and Tora had left for the evening, Shou noticed that he hadn’t even turned the open sign in the door. He’d been closed all day, and strangely enough, he didn’t even mind one bit.

***  
Tora lived a few doors down from Shou, on the second floor of a small building.

He wasn’t picky about tea, and Mochi would always welcome him in with demanding meows for the treats he kept for her in his jacket pocket.

He listened to all sorts of music but really had a thing for classical music and opera, humming along to his favourite arias quietly when they came on the radio.

His hands were soft and sensitive and he lovingly touched everything that fell into his hands as if it was precious, gently running long fingers along the bent spines of old books as Shou tended to his occasional patrons. Breathing in the scent of old paper and cardboard with a soft smile curling his perfect lips.

He worked monday through friday and would always stop by on his way back from work in the late afternoon for tea.

He hardly even had to use his cane around anymore, Shou only too happy to guide the taller man back home late at night.

And on weekends, Shou would read to him.

It had started innocently enough, on a late january afternoon when the sun was hiding behind storm clouds and the wind whistled, snow hitting the windowpanes.

“Since you teach kids to read, you must like books right? And stories?”

Tora had nodded at that with a wry smile. 

“I like books. But you know, braille is more of an utilitarian way to read. Books in braille use up tomes and tomes because the embossing of the pages makes everything twice as long. Its not exactly practical for fiction works.”

“Oh…so what do you do when you want to read a story?”

“I download audio books sometimes and listen to them, but I rarely have the time. I wish I could read to the children more too, the centre doesn’t have the means and space to get many books in braille.”

Tora had shrugged and taken a sip of his tea.

“Its just a reality of being blind I guess.”

That answer certainly wasn’t gonna satisfy Shou.

“Name a book you’ve always wanted to read.”

“What?”

“Just name a book, anything.”

Tora had been quiet for a minute, and then he’d smirked, his cheeks tinted the most beautiful shade of peony pink.

“I know I’m a little old for this but I’ve always wanted to know more about that whole Harry Potter guy…”

Shou had smiled wide and stood up from the armchair, walked a few paces to the end of the third shelf on the left wall of the shop, reached for a slender, dog-eared paperback and come back to his chair. He’d flipped open the faded cover and the blotter pages until he’d reached page one.

He’d cleared his throat and Tora’s face had turned towards him with a puzzled look on his gorgeous face.

“Chapter one. The boy who lived. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were very proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much…”

He’d read for three hours, only pausing for sips of cooling tea, until it was night out and the storm nearly snowing them in, Tora completely entranced.

Listening intently, feet pulled up on the cushy chair and chin on his knees.

They’d gone for some yakisoba across the street, way past dinnertime, and when Tora had shyly asked if Shou would read to him again the following week, he could not have refused to save his own life.

It started innocently enough, like everything always does.

***  
They had worked their way through the Harry Potter series, and quite a few others when spring started peeking from underneath the snow. Tora was taking to the stories with childlike enthusiasm and Shou had never felt more fulfilled then when he shared his favourite stories with the raven haired man.

They were halfway through Frank Herbert’s science fiction classic “Dune” when Tora asked what had been weighing on his mind for the past few weeks.

Between two chapters when Shou was making more tea.

“Shou?”

“Yeah?”

“I have been thinking about this for a while and I meant to ask you…Would you like to come read to the children on friday?”

Shou paused, surprised, and didn’t speak for a few seconds too long. Just long enough for Tora to blubber and backtrack, cheeks flushed.

“I mean…you don’t have to say yes or anything, I was just wondering since you read so well, and I like it so much and well…I thought the kids would like it and…but if you don’t want to you know…”

“Wait wait…I didn’t say no did I?” Shou chuckled, coming back with the full teapot, “I was just a little surprised that’s all.”

Tora’s blind eyes lit up at his reply. Such irony, that such gorgeous, expressive eyes couldn’t behold their own beauty.

“So you’re agreeing?”

“How old are the kids?”

“Three girls and four boys, aged four to six.”

Shou sighed then chuckled, pouring fresh tea in Tora’s near empty mug and his own before replying.

“Okay, I’ll come.”

“Really?”

“Tell me a time and I’ll be there.”

Before Shou could even figure out what was happening Tora had gotten up from the chair and was hugging him tight, so tight and thanking him over and over again in his soft voice. Muscular arms around his shoulders and a warm chest against his and a cloud of cedar and sandalwood cologne enveloped him and he could’ve stayed like this forever.

Because Tora was strong and solid yet soft and gentle, and kind hearted and so beautiful, and Shou was starting to have feelings for him that were far from platonic, no matter how hard he tried to deny them.

***  
The community centre was a large concrete building looking very much like a small school, which it was in a sense. Shou made his way through the glass doors up front, and following Tora’s instructions, walked up to the reception desk where a young woman gave him a visitor pass and a kind smile, as well as directions to the room where Tora worked.

“Second floor, third door to the right.” 

He ascended the stairs with his heart in his throat. He wasn’t good with large amounts of people. He wasn’t good with people, period, what if the kids didn’t like him, or the stories he had picked for them? He kept ruminating those dark thoughts in an endless loop and before he knew it he was facing the third door to the right and looking into the narrow glass window.

He couldn’t hear what was being said, but what he saw made him smile.

Tora and the seven children were playing a game of cards stamped with braille, and clearly it was a lively game since all were laughing, sitting in a tight circle on a large mat on the floor in the middle of the room. 

He was almost loathe to interrupt it with his knocking.

The game paused, and Tora got up, smiling as he came to the door and opened it.

“Hey there. Just on time…” Tora welcomed him.

“Hey.” Shou murmured, and Tora’s mouth curled up further, his hand reaching for his shoulder softly in greeting.

It was a simple touch, but every touch since that intimate hug had taken an exhilarating edge that made Shou’s heart leap in his chest.

He let Tora lead him into the room.

“Our guest has arrived!” Tora explained the kids, the seven of them still sitting down in a circle, “Say hello to Shou-kun.”

It was endearing to hear a chorus of soft children’s voices greeting him, and he replied shyly, chuckling and definitely blushing when one of the little girls piped that he had a nice voice.

It took a few minutes for the children to introduce themselves one by one, and set up their little reading corner where cushions and plush toys were strewn all over, sitting comfortably in haphazard order. 

Shou smirked when Tora sat with them, one of the kids, a little girl with long black pigtails, pillowing her head on his thigh.

He read them story upon story. Stories about talking animals and scary witches and pretty princesses. Dragons and faraway kingdoms, worthy heroes and heroines. Until most of the children were dozing off peacefully on the mat.

“Looks like its nap-time…” Tora mouthed, easing the little girl’s head down from his thigh onto a cushion, “Let’s go down the hall and get a coffee…”

Shou nodded, putting down his book and stood from the chair, automatically reaching out for Tora’s arm to guide him out. Just as he realized that Tora didn’t need him in here as he knew every angle of the room inside and out. But Tora’s hand stilled his as it pulled away, looped Shou’s arm with his own.

“I like it when you guide me.” Tora explained quietly and Shou felt like the temperature in the room had gone up a few degrees.

It was a quick walk to the end of the hall where two vending machines buzzed quietly.

“What would you like?” Tora asked, gently slipping his arm out of Shou’s own to reach in his pocket for change.

“Whatever you’re having.”

Tora nodded with an easy smile and pushed a couple coins in the machine, counting the buttons with a quick swipe of fingers, pressing twice on the sixth one.

The machine hummed and clanked, and Tora reached down with practiced ease, extricating the two cans. Cold brewed coffee.

“You do this often, I can tell…” Shou teased.

Tora smirked, handing him the can.

“I don’t own a coffee machine so I always come here to get my fix in the morning. I always mean to buy one but I never find the time…besides, as far as hot drinks are concerned, I’d much rather drink tea. With you.”

Shou’s face felt hot yet there was cold sweat down his back and he said nothing because he knew that to Tora’s trained ear the strain in his throat would've given away the depth of his feelings instantly. So he stayed quiet and gently brushed fingers down Tora’s arm, squeezing his elbow softly in thanks, Tora smiled, and they drank their coffee in comfortable silence.

***  
Tora looked really good in old battered jeans. And a faded grey tee, sweat pearling on his bare arms and down his throat.

That observation took half a second to make but left Shou tingling all over for several minutes, just as Tora was showing up bright and early to help him with the very belated spring cleaning at the shop. It was already blazing hot, end of June, and there was a light sheen of sweat on that pale skin that Tora seldom showed. His hair was still sleep mussed, curling down on his broad shoulders and his smile gorgeous and Shou felt about as flustered as the first time he had gone on a date, over fifteen years ago.

“Thanks a lot for coming in to help, I probably couldn’t do all this on my own…”

“Its nothing, besides, I come here every day and hog all your tea so its more than fair that I help out no?”

Tora was on summer vacation from the centre, his duties only resuming later in the fall, and they had been spending even more time together if that was even possible. Enough that Tora was starting to know the regular clients and they him, and that had prompted enough questions on the nature of their relationship that had made Shou’s ears burn.

Because he was starting to think of ways to invite Tora on a date, maybe. And then relenting because Tora was his friend, his only friend as it happened. 

He had tried making relationships work in the past, both friendships and less platonic ones, and without fail they would be unsuccessful. He had good looks, that was hard to deny, and people would be attracted to that at first, only to realize that the beautiful boy wasn’t interested in clubs and loud parties and that he’d much rather curl up in bed at home and talk for hours. Read for days. He would drift away, get detached, unable to make a real connection and they would call it quits, stop talking.

Tora had stuck around. He’d stuck around and got to know every inch of his personality leaving no stone unturned, and loved what he found. The more they were together, the closer Shou wanted to be to him and that state of mind was unprecedented. 

Yet he was afraid, to go too far too fast and to ultimately lose the only person that had given him the opportunity to be himself, that trusted him wholeheartedly.

So he swallowed his feelings and watched as the tall man gently and carefully emptied a bookshelf of its sleepy occupants, almost lovingly, and meticulously cleaned the old wood with a care that no seeing person could ever be capable of.

They had been cleaning for most of the afternoon, emptying shelves and cleaning the wood underneath, dusting every corner of the shop, when Tora laid hands on the top of the upright piano.

“Shou?” 

“Yeah?” Shou replied, coming back from behind the counter with a glass of icy barley tea.

“What’s this?” Tora asked, running his hands on the dusty top and then down the front panel of the piano.

“Its an old upright piano.”

“Oh…” Tora breathed, with a little moue of surprise.

“I found it in a second hand store when I was shopping for furniture for the shop. The owner was selling it for nearly nothing and…I don’t really know why but it spoke to me, I had to buy it. I don’t even play piano.”

Tora nodded at that, his mouth curling up, feeling down the smooth grain of the wood to the fall of the piano, wedging his fingers underneath.

“That’s because music instruments have souls. This one just called out to you.” the raven haired explained quietly, lifting the fall to reveal ivory keys, “May I?”

Shou, completely flabbergasted, pulled out the wide piano bench.

“Sure, go ahead.”

Tora sat down on the bench, felt around cautiously with his foot to find the pedal board. His delicate fingers traced the edge of the keyboard, and then pressed a white and black key at the same time, and then another white key, a deep resounding sound filling the quiet shop. Tora winced a little but he was still smiling.

“Its a little out of tune, but it will do…” he commented.

Then his fingers were moving on the board, a hauntingly beautiful melody, and if Shou had been somewhat subdued by the events of the last few minutes, he was completely speechless by now.

Tora played for a long time, relentless, long enough for Shou’s knees to tire and he sat on the edge of the bench, beside him. Watching those sensitive fingers move artfully across the white and black keys, he was discovering yet another facet to this gorgeous man who had stumbled into his life.

There was a lull in the melody, Tora’s fingers hovering over the keyboard, but he pulled his hands back with a soft chuckle, letting the notes die in the still air, resonating.

“Sorry…I got carried away.” he apologized softly, a soft smile on full lips.

Shou’s heart was hammering in his chest and his mouth felt dry and for the smallest sliver of a second he considered throwing all caution to the wind and kissing the man beside him. He cleared his throat instead, trying hard to master his desires and hardly succeeding.

“Tora…that was…”

“Unexpected?”

“Yes! And impressive too…I didn’t know you played piano?”

Tora nodded, a soft smile.

“Before I lost my sight, I had trained to be a concert pianist. All my childhood. My mom was an excellent pianist herself, and a meticulous instructor. This felt really nice, I haven’t played in a long time…I have a keyboard at home, but it doesn’t have the soul of a real piano.”

Shou was listening still but his mind had stopped at before I lost my sight. He’d been dead sure Tora had been blind since birth but that was when he realized that he’d never asked. Maybe he hadn’t been quite comfortable before.

There was a lull in the conversation, and then Shou grabbed hold of his courage two handed and asked.

“Can I ask how?” 

Tora’s head turned slightly towards his, and that was when Shou became aware of how close they were, the two of them on that narrow bench, and he felt light-headed.

“How I became blind?”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Tora was thoughtful for a moment, quiet, and then his back straightened and he turned his entire body towards Shou on the bench, just large enough to hold them both and Shou’s pulse soared.

“When I was a teenager, I was a little rebellious. Nothing too serious, I just dressed like a little punk and smoked on school grounds, drank on the weekends.”

“A real bad boy eh?” Shou teased.

Tora smiled, lost in his memories.

“You could say that. I was still very diligent about piano, and my studies too. I wanted to be a famous soloist. One evening, my friend and I decided to go on a nightly road trip. We hadn’t drank much…”

Shou could tell where the story was going and his heart fell to the bottom of his stomach. 

“My friend Satoshi was driving, his mother’s little compact car. Satoshi…he was really ruthless you know? The kind of guy that just…just did everything he wanted and never paused to think of the consequences. He was 18 and I was 16 and I would’ve done anything for him.”

“He was you best friend?” Shou asked, cautious.

Tora nodded.

“Best friend, first cigarette, first drink, first kiss. First…first everything with him. I was in love with him. I think he loved me too.”

The subject of sexual orientation had never exactly come between them but deep down Shou felt that Tora had been just like him in that sense, not really caring about gender when it came to love.

“We’d stopped to stare at the moon for a little while, drank whiskey out of a flask, made out in the backseat. It started to rain and then when he offered to drive me back home since I had school in the morning…I told him he shouldn’t, that we should just lay in the backseat and watch the rain fall and maybe fuck or something, but I was just as trashed and we had to get home somehow.”

Tora took a deep breath, pink tongue licking at a lower lip that had become too dry.

“Everything was fine one second and the next thing I knew he was losing control of the car. Slippery road, and he’d drunk more than I had. We crashed into a ditch on the side of the road. Totalled the car.”

Tora’s voice got a little hoarse, just a little, and Shou’s hand found the upper curve of his back, right between his shoulders, unprompted, and he felt the tension there. That carefully repressed grief.

“He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt, he…”

Tora took a deep breath and closed his eyes, breathing slow and controlled for an instant.

“Satoshi died instantly, broken neck. I didn’t see it happen and for months, years, my only comfort was that he didn’t suffer at all. He got snuffed out like a candle. The last thing I saw was his smile, he was laughing at some innocuous joke I’d made right before we crashed. His smile and his eyes and then I turned to look at the road and we were careening out of control.”

Shou’s hand slid down his shoulder, and arm, and before he could pull it away Tora had caught on to his fingers, gently but insistent. he looked down and saw that Tora had entwined his fingers with his own and that was when he realized that his own eyes were full of tears.

“My spine was damaged. I still have back problems to this day, I always have to be careful. My brain swelled up, so much that they had to drill holes in my skull to alleviate the pressure and drain out the fluids, but it wasn’t fast enough. My optic nerve was damaged. I spent six weeks in a coma and when I woke up I just couldn’t see anymore. I remember asking my mom if my eyes were open because all I could see was darkness.”

“Tora…I’m so sorry…”

Tora’s fingers tightened, and he nodded, softly.

“Its okay. Its been fifteen years now, almost sixteen. I was really angry at first, devastated, but then I realized that I can still speak and hear, I can still walk, I can still touch, feel…I miss seeing things. I miss seeing the moon, and cherry blossom trees, and my mother’s smile…but I can still hear her laugh you know?”

Shou tried to reply. He tried but all that came out was a choked breath and a muted gasp and before he knew it he was crying all the tears that he’d held back for so long. Years and years of keeping his emotions for himself because they felt too precious, too fragile to expose. Years of being alone and feeling like there wasn’t another soul that he could relate to in this world.

The way Tora just laid himself bare, so trustingly, a catalyst, freeing that uncontrollable flood that had him sobbing and gasping for air. 

Tora gently pulled him close, so gently against his chest and that only made his tears fall faster. He cried for what seemed like hours, until the flood abated and he had soaked the shoulder of Tora’s grey tee and he was left exhausted yet more sated than he had felt in years.

“Its okay…” Tora whispered in his hair, soft hands rubbing up and down his back soothingly.

“How? How can this be okay?” Shou mumbled against the side of Tora’s warm neck, feeling drained

“I survived. I’m still alive and it wasn’t easy and for a long time I asked why. Why me, why the fuck did this happen to me and Satoshi, who had his entire life in front of him and the most beautiful smile you could imagine and whom I loved so much. But then I realized that I was still alive and breathing, and that I could still do things that I wanted to do, and yes my disability holds me back sometimes. I can’t wake up one day and just forget about the fact that I can’t see but there’s so many things I can still do.”

Tora’s fingers gently traced up Shou’s arm, all the way up to his neck and softly, so softly traced the edge of his jaw. Shou inched back, enough to bring them face to face again and heat rushed to his cheeks when Tora’s fingers traced his chin, and his lips. He closed his eyes and submitted to the careful exploration of his features and he realized that this was Tora’s way of seeing him. Both hands tracing his jaw and cheeks and nose, the bow of his lip and his brow, gently moving strands of caramel brown hair out of the way.

Tora was seeing him for the first time through his gentle touch and that simple act felt more intimate and exhilarating than any of the kisses he’d ever received. More intimate than all the sex he’d had in his life.

“See…I don’t need my sight to tell that you’re beautiful. I knew it already, I mean, you have such a beautiful soul…but its no surprise that the face matches the beautiful heart.”

Shou’s pulse rushed at the words, and before he knew what he was doing his hands were reaching up, up to cup Tora’s neck and bring his face closer, so close to his until their lips nearly touched.

Tora’s face was so beautiful up close, long lashes and tightly grained skin and luminous eyes, and his mouth was still curled up in a soft, expectant smile and all that Shou wanted was to bridge that last inch between them and join their lips.

It only took half a heartbeat to make the decision. 

Tora’s mouth was soft and plush, and was stiff for half a second of surprise before yielding hungrily to Shou’s kiss, lips parting to let Shou’s tongue in against his own. Tora’s hands slipped from his face as he tilted his head back, letting the raven haired dominate the kiss and he moaned low in his throat when Tora’s hands reached down to the small of his back and urged him closer, all the way into his lap. 

Months of pent up desire unleashing like a flood as he straddled the taller man on the bench, holding that gorgeous face up to his own as he drowned in the kiss. Tora was more experienced than he’d expected somehow, his kiss eager yet careful, soft tongue and teasing teeth on his lower lip and Shou felt like he was losing his mind.

The tension in the air felt like a live wire and their joining feverish and desperate and so perfect Shou could hardly think anything coherent.

They parted to breathe, great heaving breaths and Shou looked down and Tora was beyond gorgeous with his glazed eyes, flushed cheekbones and swollen mouth and he bent down to kiss him again.

Which he would have done had the tinkling of the bells above the front door, that he had forgotten to lock, not broken the spell.

An elderly woman that came nearly every day, probably not seeing the “closed” sign, had entered the shop and they parted awkwardly, Shou fumbling off Tora’s lap and trying to slide beside him on the bench, like teenagers caught making out.

Shou tamed down all the curses that threatened to spill out of his mouth and snorted a little when he noticed that Tora was trying very hard not to burst out laughing, cheeks flushed.

“Oh hey there Shou-kun?” she called out, looking around at the piles of books everywhere curiously.

Shou took a deep breath and stood up from the bench, realizing that he was more aroused than he’d initially felt, uncomfortably so, followed by Tora who was still very close to laughing.

“I’m here!” he called out, getting to the front of the shop, pretty thankful that her eyesight was too poor for her to see all the way to the back where they’d been.

“Oh…hello there Shou-kun, and Tora-kun too…” she eyed them both, a little curiously, noticing the flush on their cheeks and the shortness of breath.

She smiled, a little too evilly for such a sweet old lady.

“Am I interrupting something?” she asked, slyly.

Shou nodded negatively so fast his head spun.

“Not at all Ms. Nishikawa! We’re just moving around some heavy things you know, spring cleaning and all…I put the closed sign but I suppose you came out of habit and didn’t see it?”

“Oh is that so? I guess I didn’t see it at all…I was just coming in to check on you boys coming back from my walk but since you two are…busy, I will leave you to it. Have a good day boys…”

She left looking far too pleased for her own good, and for the ten minutes afterwards all they could do was laugh, until their sides were sore.

Then there was a late night dinner at the noodle shop across the street, spring cleaning forgotten for a little while, Tora’s hand on his thigh underneath the table making him giddy and breathless. And another kiss, more chaste this time, at Tora’s door just underneath the awning of his building.

A soft touching of lips and things yet unsaid.

Shou had the piano tuned the day after.

***  
Shou eyed the tickets in his hands. Two tickets, with neat little lines of print.

When he’d seen that the Tokyo Philharmonic was having a concert featuring the entirety of Rachmaninov’s piano concertos, he’d felt compelled. Now however, with the deed done, he wasn’t so sure.

A small piece of him wondered if he was burning through the steps.

There had been that day two weeks past, when they’d made out in the middle of the afternoon on the piano bench, and that late night dinner, and that kiss on the front porch of Tora’s apartment building. 

Their world had exploded with physicality since that day. Careful touches and tender ones too, and once a lustful graze of the skin between the waistband of his jeans and his tee, hands joining. There were kisses too, soft and careful. Baby steps.

They were taking it very slow and Shou couldn’t help but wonder if the concert was going too fast. The small piece of him that failed at relationships screaming at him not to get too attached because feelings were dangerous and he’d get hurt.

There was the fact that maybe Tora wasn’t ready to face what could’ve been his future had he never lost his sight too. He now played piano every single day on the old upright, for hours at a time, and Shou had begun to realize that Tora could have gone very far indeed with all of his sheer talent and sensibility. 

He was ruminating those thoughts when Tora entered the shop, white tee and dark jeans and his hair still shower damp, cutely parted to the side, wide smile. So beautiful that it made Shou wonder how a guy that could not see his own reflection looked this good all the time.

“Hey?” Tora called out tentatively, putting his cane down by the door.

“Hey there.” Shou replied, coming forward to greet him and smiling despite himself when he was playfully caught in a tangle of strong arms.

He liked that Tora was so tall, taller than he was, making him feel safe and a little helpless too, in the best of ways. He leaned against a strong frame and was enveloped with familiar cedar and sandalwood and Tora’s lips found his and he felt that maybe the concert was a good idea after all. 

They carefully parted yet Tora’s arm stayed around his waist, holding him close in a way that had him a mixture of giddy and exhilarated.

“How were your dreams?” Tora asked, sweetly, and Shou could not resist stealing another quick kiss.

“Quiet I guess, I don’t remember them…You want tea?”

They parted and Shou made his way to the counter in the back, Tora to the side of the shop, gently picking up Mochi on his way, knowing exactly where she was lounging on the big armchair, to drop her on top of the piano as it had become her favourite spot.

They’d moved it closer to the front, in a warm patch of sunlight.

“Yeah, the cold kind, its smouldering hot out there.”

“Already? Well, it is mid-july after all…” Shou remarked, pouring cool green tea in two glasses, “speaking of, are you free next friday evening?”

“The friday coming up?” Tora asked, sitting down at the bench and lifting the fall of the piano to expose the keys.

“Yeah, in three days.” Shou replied, bringing over the drinks, putting his down on top of the piano beside the already snoozing cat before gently guiding Tora’s fingers around his own glass.

Little gestures like this one, hundreds of them, from guiding Tora’s fingers to his glass to telling him the number of steps up or down when they went someplace unfamiliar, or sliding his arm around his waist to guide him home at night. They were all part of his routine now.

Tora took a sip and nodded.

“Well, I’m not exactly a social butterfly so I’m all yours.”

“I have a surprise for you then, friday night.”

“Ohhh really? I love surprises!”

Tora smirked, reaching up for Shou’s hip with his free hand and coaxed him down on the bench beside him, kissed his temple softly.

They drank their morning tea together on the narrow bench in pleasant silence, and then Tora’s fingers filled the small shop with the echoes of a happy, summery waltz.

***  
Tora’s excitement was contagious.

From his giddy greeting when Shou had picked him up from his apartment, where Shou had spent quite a bit of time fawning over how good Tora looked in a sleek black suit, to his excited clapping when they finally got into a taxi. Shou handed a slip of paper with the address of the concert hall neatly printed to the cab driver to maintain the surprise, and off they went, their little car merging with the night-time traffic.

It was a short ride to Shibuya’s Orchard Hall, then it was guiding Tora through the maze of corridors full of well dressed people finding their seats. Tora was listening intently to the sounds around him, face more perplexed than ever.

“Where are we?” He asked, and Shou smiled, guiding him around a bend.

“Its a place where art is made and displayed.”

“A museum?”

Shou chuckled.

“Don’t be silly. You wouldn’t enjoy that very much would you?”

Tora shrugged with a smile.

“You could describe every work of art and I would see them through your words.”

“That would be a very long tour…No, think more in terms of performance art.”

“The theatre?”

“Closer, but not quite right…you’ll find out soon enough, I just found our spot…”

Two seats, middle of the second row. Shou managed to guide Tora through the row without bothering the people already seated too much, and just as they settled, the lights dimmed a little and then went out completely. The conductor and soloist came out of the wings and there was applause, Tora going along with it while still puzzled, and then there it was, the sound of the orchestra tuning.

That full, harmonious sound that filled one’s heart with excitement and anticipation and Tora’s fingers clenched tight around Shou’s own, the most beatific smile Shou had ever seen drawing itself on his beautiful features.

And that was when he knew that he had done right, without a shadow of a doubt.

The first concerto started with a hush, like jumping off the deep end of a pool, and then they were lost to the flood of harmonies and melodies and the heart-wrenching beauty of Rachmaninov’s music.

It was a long concert, but they were there long after the conductor and soloist had taken their final bows, and the orchestra filed out in the wings and the lights came back on, concert-goers leaving the hall with hushed conversation.

They stayed a long time, Tora holding on tight to Shou, so tight. So tight because his eyes were full of tears and his breath was short and he just thanked him over and over again for giving him such a beautiful gift.

“Its nothing…” Shou soothed, running his fingers through Tora’s soft hair, caressing the nape of his neck.

Tora nodded against his shoulder, face buried against the side of his neck.

“You don’t understand how much I needed this. I needed to fall in love with music again and that’s what you gave me…” Tora murmured, voice tight, “You gave me that chance to fall in love all over again. Thank you…”

Tora pulled back, just enough to hold on to Shou’s face and tilt it down to his, joining their lips and once again Shou felt as if he was losing his mind. Drowning in that hungry kiss, until pointed throat clearing behind them had them pull apart, flushed and breathless.

A security guard, looking mightily uncomfortable, stood a few rows back and Shou nodded at him, a little sheepishly.

“If we don’t want to get kicked out by security we should start moving…” Shou whispered to Tora’s ear, and they both chuckled a little, getting up from their seats.

It was raining outside. One of those summer showers that just appears out of nowhere with sheets of warm rain. None of them had brought an umbrella along and to say that they got soaked as they waited for a cab was an understatement. Not that a little rain could put a damper on the perfect night they were having.

***  
The cab stopped in front of Tora’s place and they both got out, rushing to get underneath the awning and away from the downpour, laughing all the while. Tora’s ebony hair fell across his face in wavy tendrils like poured ink, and his white button down clung to his muscular frame, sticking to pale skin when he shrugged out of his jacket to lay the extra layer on Shou’s shoulders. 

So white it was transparent, just enough to reveal the outline of pink, cold hardened nipples and no matter how sopping wet he was at the moment, Shou’s mouth resolutely felt dry.

He was about to open his mouth and wish Tora goodnight when a peal of thunder rumbled through the sky along with the sharp cracking of lighting, splitting the dark sky.

“You should come in, at least until the storm abates.” Tora offered, reaching into his pocket for his keys.

“I’m just a block away, I should be fine…” he replied, hesitant, really wanting to take Tora on his offer but wondering if it was wise when his entire body felt like a live wire.

Tora clucked his tongue.

“Don’t be silly, besides,” Tora’s hand gently traced the length of Shou’s arm, “you’re shivering. No need catching a cold, no? Come along…”

There was a short flight of steps to the second floor, and a bright red door Tora unlocked, and in he went, Shou following.

It was dark in the apartment, and Tora’s fingers flicked on the light switch on the side of the door, filling the room with warm light, only for Shou’s sake since he didn’t need it himself. It was a large living room, with a dove grey couch and a low table, a keyboard in a corner, sparsely furnished but elegantly so.

“Welcome to my place.” Tora greeted, pulling Shou further in by the hand, “Its not much but its home.”

But Shou wasn’t really looking at his surroundings. He was looking at the man in front of him, with his wet hair and transparent shirt clinging to his toned body, and full mouth, bright eyes, and all he could think about was kissing him.

He crossed the foot of space separating them, until he was standing right against Tora, chest to chest and guided that soft mouth down to his and it felt like a dam breaking.

Hands raking down his back and sleek tongue against his own and gasping breath. Hunger in every kiss, every caress.

Tora backing them through an open arch, mouths still joined, into an airy bedroom with a large bed and a huge window.

Tora’s hands pushing the damp jacket off his shoulders, and then tugging, tugging at the shirt tucked in trousers and sliding his hands underneath the hem, cupping Shou’s small waist before lifting it off his body.

Shou’s own hands loosening the black tie around Tora’s neck and undoing small mother of pearl buttons with a patience he had no idea he could muster at this point. But then Tora’s hands grabbed on to his and stopped them and he looked up, puzzled.

“You don’t want…” Shou started, but Tora nodded, hushed him with soft fingers.

“No! God…no, I really want this, I want you…I can’t even express how much I want you right now.”

Shou could feel it, that warm hardness against his belly through all the layers of fabric, matching his own desire.

“Its just that…you have to be patient with me…” Tora murmured, bashful, “I haven’t done this in a very, very long time…Not since the accident.”

Shou sighed, reaching up to the face above his own and pressing his mouth to Tora’s chin, and then his mouth.

“Its okay…I haven’t done this in a while either. A very long while.”

He could barely even remember the last time, if it had been a boy or a girl, if it had been good at all. It was so far in his memory, it didn’t even matter.

“I remember how, I mean, I'd be lying if I said that I haven't thought about doing this with you. Many, many times…but I don’t want to be clumsy, hurt you in any way…”

“You won’t. Trust me you won’t, we’ll take it slow, besides, I just got an idea to make things fair, don’t move.”

Shou reached down, finding Tora’s tie on the floor, and carefully tied it over his eyes, knotting the ends behind his head until it was secure and he couldn’t see anything at all. He reached for Tora’s hands, clumsily, guided them up to the tie over his eyes and Tora gasped softly in response.

“Oh…Shou.” Tora whispered.

Then everything was a blur, Tora’s mouth crashing against his and fingers undressing and finding skin and he realized that for the first time he could really feel. By taking away his dominant sense he could feel everything. 

The velvety softness of Tora’s skin underneath damp fabric, warm and supple, gliding over hard muscle as he traced every inch of his chest with careful, curious fingertips. And then tongue, delighting in the sharp hiss escaping Tora’s lips when his tongue flattened against a peaked nipple. Fingers tangling in his hair when his hands reached down a hard body to tug at the waistband of Tora’s trousers.

He felt everything. 

The taste of Tora’s lips, and the sleekness of his tongue and the exhilaration of not knowing ahead of time where Tora would touch him adding such intensity to every graze, caress. He gasped when one of Tora’s hand tangled in his hair and pulled back, warm mouth underneath his chin and kissing down his neck and he was clinging to the taller man for dear life, while the other hand reached between his legs, cupping the heat there.

When they finally reached the bed, all clothes removed, he felt like every inch of him had already been kissed and sucked and caressed, every nerve ending alive and crackling with tension. The bed was soft and a tangle of textures and without visuals he felt completely weightless. 

He moaned helplessly when Tora’s hands parted his thighs and felt the raven haired fit his shoulders underneath his thighs, tongue tracing the underside of his cock, teasingly.

“Tora…god! You don’t have to do this…”

He felt his lover grin against his inner thigh, and a hand ghosting up the length of him, his skin erupting with warmth.

“I don’t have lube, I wasn’t exactly planning to stop being a shy idiot tonight, and invite you in my bed like this so I need you to come first…” he murmured against his skin and Shou’s entire body shivered at the words, “besides, I really want to hear you come…” he whispered, before mouthing the tip of his cock.

And then Tora was quiet, the sounds of the falling rain filling the room, and the muted gasps and moans as Shou was swallowed completely in tight heat.

For a second Tora pulled back, a wet noise, and then saliva slick fingers searched and gently pushed against him, inside him, just breaching the tightness there and he held back with all his might not to come right there and then as Tora’s mouth engulfed him again.

He didn’t last long, too wound up and feverish, tossing and arching on the bed with his fingers tangling in the sheets. At the last second Tora’s mouth stopped, fingers still sliding steadily in and out of him, pulled his mouth away and sucked a bruise into the tender flesh right in the hollow of his hip and he orgasmed like he never had before. Stomach clenching and gasping and spilling warm wetness on his lower belly, mind a blur.

There was clumsy, feverish fumbling after that, Shou blindly reaching for the man above him to pull him close and kiss the living breath out of him, reaching down with one hand to gather the come all over his belly on his fingers and then lower, smearing Tora’s cock all over with it the best he could without his eyesight.

He’d felt intimidated for half a second when he felt the size and girth of his lover but all that melted away when Tora purred at his touch, arched down into it hungrily.

“I want you now…” Shou gasped between eager entanglements of lips and tongue, and teeth, “I need you inside me…”

“Okay…okay be still…” Tora murmured, easing back on his knees between Shou’s thighs, reaching down gently with his thumb first before guiding himself in.

So gently, slow and measured, just fitting the sleek tip past tight, clenching muscle and Shou arched in response, breathless. He wanted to take off the blindfold, see the man above him taking him, but resisted the urge. 

“Are you okay?” Tora asked, stilling his movement but just barely, his entire body taut and ready.

“God yes! Please, get in me…get in me…” Shou begged, arching the small of his back to open himself further and Tora caved, sliding into him smoothly with a helpless groan of pleasure.

Shou yielded completely to the slow, deep thrusts Tora’s hips imprinted into him, reaching up to drag his lover on top of him, legs wrapping tight around muscular hips, urging him deeper. The pace turned languid and delicious and Tora’s lips on his throat were dizzying and once again he was close. 

So close when Tora’s hands slipped underneath him, cupping his rear and holding him up and open, a sharper thrust pushing against his prostate sending his entire body clenching and spasming, bright colours spinning underneath his closed eyelids. His fingers clenched, trying to find purchase on Tora’s smooth back, sliding down to the dip in his spine and pushing down, urging him faster and deeper. 

Closely entangled, chest to chest and Shou could feel Tora’s heartbeat matching his own, the most intimate of rhythms.

There was a soft hitch to Tora’s breath, and a low groan and a clenching of his spine into him, hips bucking and Shou knew that his lover was reaching the end of his own endurance.

“You feel so good…so tight and good, fuck!” Tora panted against his neck, hot gasps against soft skin.

So hot and dizzying and the pressure gathered in his lower belly like a burning flood threatening to overspill. He didn’t even have time to warn Tora first that he felt himself clenching and burning and he was coming for the second time between their bodies, crying out, overwhelmed.

Boneless, weightless as Tora’s thrusts slowed and stilled for an impossible second before he was following Shou right along, tumbling off his peak with a helpless moan of pleasure.

It took a while for the blood to stop rushing in his ears and his crazed heartbeat to settle enough to hear Tora’s voice, murmuring breathlessly against his neck.

“I wish I could see you right now…god, I wish I could see you…”

Just a murmur, and quiet tears, dripping down his shoulder and pooling down in the hollow of his throat and Shou kept quiet, because there was nothing he could say. He could only feel and listen as he gently eased the blindfold off his eyes.

There was a whispered, tentative, I love you when the tears abated along with the rain outside.

And another surer one when the rising sun tinted the clouds red and pink and they lay in the mess of sheets plastered to each other. He fit just right against Tora’s chest, their legs comfortably tangled and he pressed his mouth to that soft skin just below Tora’s adam’s apple and breathed in deep. Cedar and sandalwood and the intoxicating musk of skin underneath.

“I love you.” Shou murmured for the second time that night and wondered if he would get a response this time.

Tora’s arms tightened around his waist and brought him even closer, his mouth against his forehead, soft and warm.

“I love you too…god, I really love you.” Tora exhaled in a warm breath.

They didn’t need words after that. 

Only touches and skin and languid thrusts and slow caresses. They only needed each other.

***  
They were having a nightly walk when Shou broached the subject.

He thought about it for days after reading that little article in a medical journal at the bookshop. Day and night until he couldn’t think about anything else.

It was winter again, it had been a little more than a year since the two had met on that patch of black ice in front of the bookshop.

They’d bought the flat above it, a huge airy space with tons of windows and big white rooms and plenty of sunlight for Mochi to lay happy in patches of sunlight. There were words of love exchanged daily, despite the occasional fight or two, and kisses and delicious sex, especially after said fights, and they were happy. Deliriously so.

“There’s a surgery you know?”

Their boots were crunching in the snow and the sun was setting in the distance. All was quiet in the little park behind the noodle shop where they’d just had late lunch.

“A surgery?”

“They could operate on your optic nerve and maybe you could see again.”

He’d seen the adaptation a new place had required, counting every step and mapping every corner and seeing Tora constantly bump into things while his brain made sense of the new space was a mixture of endearing and heartbreaking.

“I know. I have money set aside for that of sorts but I couldn’t ever decide if I really wanted it. I’m afraid to try and get my hopes up and then have it fail you know?”

“Oh.”

They were quiet for a minute, crunching boots and Shou stopped, turned to Tora and grabbed both his hands, wrapped in thick mittens to protect his pianist fingers, in his. Tora’s brow twitched up in question.

“You know, I was afraid to get my hopes up with you. When you stumbled, literally, into my life I think I knew right away that I was in love with you but I was so afraid of getting hurt that it took me months to take the plunge and when I did, I wished I’d done it sooner. Look at us now, we’re together, in love…”

Tora nodded and pulled him close, kissed the tip of his cold nose with warm lips, their breath fogging up in the air.

“Yeah we’re most definitely in love…”

“But my point is, if you don’t give it a shot, you’ll never know.”

Tora nodded, slowly.

“I’ll think about it. It might take some time, I mean, I’ve lived more than half my life with this disability, I don’t even remember what its like to see…But I’ll think about it, I promise.”

Shou nodded, wrapped an arm around Tora’s neck to guide his mouth down to his and they kissed for a while, until they were a little breathless and giddy, and their toes were cold.

“I love you.” Tora whispered, unseeing eyes glowing and beautiful.

“I love you too.”

***  
It was summer again.

Blazing hot June and Shou wasn’t even awake yet that he could feel it, like a veil of heat over him. He turned over and eased a long arm over his waist and blinked.

Tora was awake, looking at him with his grey-green-gold eyes, like leaves on an autumn pond. He smiled and reached down to caress Shou’s face, moved some strands off his forehead tenderly.

Shou chuckled, wiggled closer to the naked body in front of his and eased his thigh over a muscled hip.

“You’re weird, looking at me sleep like that.”

“You look so peaceful like that, sleeping with childlike abandon…Besides, I have years of catching up to do don’t I?”

They had been together four years now. Tora had gotten his surgery the summer of the previous year, successfully. 

It hadn’t been easy, not one bit. Watching his lover comatose in a hospital bed, head and eyes wrapped in bandages. Seeing the hopeful yet unsure faces of the nurses and surgeons after the surgery. Hoping against hope.

Days of not knowing what to do with himself while they waited for results. 

It was all worth it when they finally removed the bandages, in a darkened room not to assault Tora’s eyes with too much light at once, and to have his lover hold his face in his hands and see him for the first time. Trace his mouth and nose and jaw with trembling fingertips, fingers that knew those traits inside out, and tear filled eyes.

“I can’t believe it…I can’t believe I’m actually seeing you…you’re so beautiful.”

It was worth it when they came home a week later to see Tora get down on his knees on the floor and hold on to Mochi and marvel over her white fur and green eyes.

It was worth it when he undressed for him in candlelight that night and felt more exposed than he’d ever had, self conscious for the first time as Tora relearned every inch of him that he’d already mapped with touch and lips with lust clouded eyes. When Tora paused in the middle of their joining to whisper against his ear that he was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen.

It was worth it despite the thousands of things to relearn and adapt to, light giving him migraines for months, relearning to read, write.

He relearned everything. He still taught blind children, to read and now, with the older ones, to play piano even, discover music, the old upright in the bookshop receiving much love from small yet agile children’s fingers. Shou remembers the outing they took with the children in the winter, taken them all to the opera and holding Tora’s hand in the dark while the seven children listened entranced, his amber eyes full of happy tears.

It wasn’t easy, but it was all worth it. 

It was all worth it to see his lover rediscovering the world with the enthusiasm of a child. It was all worth it to look into those eyes and see all the love in the world and know with certainty that he could see that love reflected in his own eyes. 

It was worth knowing that his lover could see every emotion and pleasure going through his entire being when they made love. What his kisses and caresses did to him and how much he loved every touch.

And see him close his eyes when he played piano, to better feel the music. Or sometimes playfully blindfold them both for sex as an echo of their first time. Bits and pieces of his past tenderly relearned.

It was all worth it.

Shou smiled at his lover, getting up on his forearm to lean over him, kissing lips and nose and closed eyelids before inching back up.

“Your eyes are so beautiful today…so dark.” Tora murmured, caressing Shou’s cheekbone before gently pulling him down, kissing him softly on the lips, “I could stare into your eyes forever you know? Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you.”

“And I you, my love. You’re the only one who ever really understood me. And I could stare in your eyes forever too…”

“Did you before I could stare back?” Tora asked playfully.

Shou smirked in response, slowly easing Tora’s head to the side, kissing his temple. Right there, underneath wild black hair lay the flat scar from where they’d operated. A matching set, one on each side.

“Always.” 

***

**Author's Note:**

> So how was that? Sappy no? xD I guess I was in the mood for super fluff idk why. I will have a couple days vacation soon so hopefully I get to update the vampire story (I also made progress on that one but this little piece hijacked my attention) but knowing my lack of skills at being productive I won't make any promises on that front. See y'all later xoxo


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